The Simpsons: Lou's In Charge
by Slake Jericho
Summary: Lou's had enough of Chief Wiggum always ignoring him. What happens when Lou takes over Wiggum's role as the chief?


**The Simpsons**

The camera moves towards Springfield Elementary School as Bart is in detention, writing 'I will not eat my shorts at lunch'. The bell rings to end the school day as Bart runs out of the school, and jumps out on his skateboard, hitting Barney in a pile of leaves. At the Nuclear Power Plant, Homer was carefully grabbing a nuclear rod, when a horn was heard to end the day. Homer pulled off his mask and was about to walk away when the rod landed on his back. Lenny and Carl were about to place another number on 'Days without accident' when the ladder fell over. Marge and Maggie were in a store as Maggie was bought. The entire class were playing music, but Lisa started playing music on her own on the saxophone. She was signalled to leave as she walked to the door, still playing. Homer was driving back to his house, and felt something weird on his back. He grabbed the rod and threw it away as Bart was skating down the street. Marge and Maggie drove past, as they beeped the horn. Homer parked the car as Bart jumped off of it. Homer was about to walk out when Lisa came out of nowhere on her bike, barely avoiding Homer as he shouted D'Oh. He thought that it was safe to go, as he started walking, but Marge accidentally drove into him and smashed him through the garage door. They all sat on their couch when it started raining pancakes. Everyone opened their mouths as the pancakes landed in them. Homer opened his mouth, but instead a rock landed on him. Homer growled as he demanded a pancake. Many rocks landed on him and buried him as he screamed.

 **Created by Matt Groening**

 **Developed by James L. Brooks, Matt Groening, Sam Simon**

"An update on the current bank robbery that nothing is being done about," Kent Brockman said. "The most expensive jewels in the world have been stolen in plain sight, when Snake managed to escape. Here's a few words from Chief Wiggum."

"Yeah, we did everything in our power to stop him," Wiggum said, munching on a donut. "But he was way too fast, and he'd already gotten away!"

The news reporters turned off the cameras and walked away as Lou walked up to Wiggum.

"Chief, he was right next to us!" Lou explained. "If you let me, I could've caught him!"

"You don't understand, Lou," Wiggum interrupted. "You know me, and you know that I only chase slow, fat, old guys like me!"

"We can never catch anyone!" Lou explained. "The prison's deserted because either the criminals escaped or they committed suicide!"

"Listen, Lou," Wiggum said. "When you're the chief, you'll see that it's hard work-"

"There's the thief!" Lou interrupted.

He ran at Snake and speared him to the ground, took the stolen jewellery and handcuffed him. Everyone cheered for Lou as Wiggum's jaw dropped.

"Breaking news!" Kent Brockman said. "The thief has been captured, but it was Officer Lou who defeated him!"

"Well, couldn't take it anymore!" Lou said. "I just saw him, and went for it! Now look where I am!"

Meanwhile, back at The Simpsons' house.

"Aw, Marge, why do _I_ have to come?" asked Homer, frowning.

"Because," Marge said. "We're going to celebrate having a good officer to protect us!"

"Yeah, dad, I think this is an amazing moment!" Lisa continued.

"We won't have to live in fear of fatass cops!" Bart chuckled.

"Bart, language!" Marge shouted.

"But I promised Lenny and Carl that I would join them at Moe's," Homer explained. "We'll watch the celebration on the TV!"

"Homer, get changed right now!" Marge ordered. "We're going!"

"Aw..." Homer sighed as he walked upstairs.

They were driving to City Hall, where many other people were gathered to congratulate Lou.

"We are gathered here today to congratulate Lou as the new chief of the police!" Mayor Quimby said, as everyone applauded. "Now, new chief Lou would like to say a few words!"

"Thank you, Mayor Quimby!" Lou began. "Now, I-"

"YMCA!" Homer shouted out loud, listening to music. "SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING, YMCA!"

At the police station, Wiggum walked in, eating a donut. As he walked into his office, his jaw dropped again as a piece of donut fell out. The officers were putting all of Wiggum's things into bags.

"Whoa, whoa, what's going on?" asked Wiggum.

"Oh, yeah, Clancy," Lou said, walking towards him. "Me and the guys have been speaking, and let's just say you've never caught a criminal in your life..."

"So?" Wiggum asked. "How many have you caught apart from Snake?"

"100 in the past hour!" interrupted an officer.

"We're gonna have to let you go." Lou said.

"What?" Wiggum said as he was dragged out of the building.

Wiggum was at his house, unloading his bags.

"What do I do now?" he asked. "Being a lazy cop was the only thing I knew how to do! I need some help finding a new job..."

He looked out of his window and saw Bart riding on his skateboard down the street. Lisa was next to him.

"You failed ANOTHER test?" asked Lisa.

"Yep," Bart said. "It was worth it, so I could throw that poop balloon at Skinner!"

"That was you!?" Lisa shouted. "Ew, no wonder you smell terrible!"

Bart smelt himself and went cross-eyed.

"That's the smell of victory..." Bart said slowly.

Wiggum was crying in his room with his window open so people could hear him. He made sure that Bart and Lisa were listening before continuing.

"Is he okay?" asked Lisa.

"Oh, please!" Bart said. "It's obviously fake crying!"

"Well I'm going!" Lisa said. "If it IS fake, then they're obviously desperate if they're calling for you too!"

"Shut up!" Bart said, punching her in the arm before following her.

They rang the doorbell as Ralph opened the door.

"Is your dad home?" asked Lisa.

"Yes!" Ralph said happily. "He's upstairs trying to commit suicide!"

Bart and Lisa gasped.

"Whoops!" Ralph said before laughing. "I meant trying to get you inside!"

"That's a relief..." Lisa said.

They ran upstairs to Wiggum's room, but he was gone.

"Where is he?" asked Bart.

"Umm..." Ralph said. "Oh yeah, he's dead!"

Bart and Lisa gasped again.

"Whoops!" Ralph said before laughing. "I meant in the shed!"

Bart and Lisa glared at Ralph as they ran down to the shed. They looked through the window of the shed, but he wasn't inside.

"We're not playing games!" Bart said. "Where's your dead-I mean dad! Damn it, now he's got me doing it!"

Ralph came outside with a rope around his neck.

"The school's dress up as your parents day is tomorrow," Ralph explained. "When I grow up, I want to be like daddy!"

He raised the rope above his head and pretended that he was choking and then died. Bart and Lisa gasped for the third time as they ran upstairs again. They ran into Wiggum's room as he was tying a rope around his neck.

"Chief Wiggum, no!" Lisa shouted.

"I'm not a chief anymore, kids." Wiggum explained. "Didn't you see the celebration?"

"Yeah, idiot!" Bart said.

"But you can't end your life!" Lisa said.

"Why not?" asked Wiggum.

"Because we're gonna help you get your job back!" Lisa said.

"We are?" asked Bart. "But I have plans with-"

"Nobody cares if you're kissing Milhouse in your treehouse..." Lisa said.

"Excuse me!?" Bart shouted, elbowing her. "I'm not gay, doofus!"

"Yeah you are!" Lisa laughed, elbowing him back. "Bart loves Milhouse!"

"I do not!" Bart shouted. "Let's just go!"

They ran over to the police station, where Lou had just handcuffed another criminal. He turned to them.

"Lou, you've got to give this fat man his job back!" Bart said.

"Has he caught anyone yet?" asked Lou. "If he has, he can have his job back!"

"Uhhhhhhh..." Wiggum said. "Yes?"

"Who have you captured?" asked Lou.

"I caught Ralph trying to steal a cookie last night!" Wiggum said.

Lou stared at him.

"Sorry, I gotta go..." Lou said.

He ducked some bullets that were fired from a criminal before running at him and handcuffing him.

"It's no use..." Wiggum said. "I'm never gonna be a cop ever again!"

"Don't say that!" said Lisa. "We'll get you your job back, I promise!"

"Yeah, I don't do promises..." Bart said. "But since I'm gonna be forced to help anyway..."

"No, no, you're right, Bort," Wiggum said.

"Bart..." Bart corrected.

"Oh yeah," Wiggum said. "Anyway, you're right, it's no use trying again, Bert. They'll never let me back!"

Bart rolled his eyes and sighed.

"I have an idea!" Bart and Lisa said at the exact same time.

"Hey, I had the idea first!" Bart said angrily.

"No you didn't!" Lisa said. "You were too busy thinking of skateboarding and pranks!"

"So?" Bart asked. "At that exact moment an idea popped up in my head!"

"One idea!?" Lisa asked. "I never knew your brain could carry so much information!"

Lisa started laughing.

"Hey, only I make the jokes around here, stinkface!" Bart laughed.

"Anyway, I have an idea!" Lisa said, ignoring him. "We cou-"

"We could make it look like you caught someone!" Bart interrupted, shoving Lisa out of the way. "That way, you could get your job back AND make yourself look useful!"

"But what happens when I have to catch a criminal on my own?" asked Wiggum.

"That's where I come in, thanks for warming me up, Barf!" Lisa said as she pushed Bart out of the way. "I think you may need to work out! Not only will you be able to catch a criminal, but it's good exercise!"

Wiggum ran around screaming like he was about to be murdered.

"EXERCISE!?" Wiggum cried in fear. "THAT'S EVERY STEREOTYPICAL FAT COP/GUY'S WORST NIGHTMARE!"

As he was running in circles, his fat started turning into muscles.

"Whoa, cool!" Bart said.

"How is that possible?" asked Lisa, confused. "He only just started running a few seconds ago!"

"Beats me!" Bart said, with massive muscles and a six-pack.

Wiggum stopped running and noticed that he had muscles.

"Whoa!" Wiggum said. "Lou, look at this!"

Nobody was watching.

"Oh yeah, that's right..." he said. "Hey, Krusty, look at this!"

"I'VE GOT A SHOW TO RUN HERE!" Krusty shouted, throwing a cigarette onto the ground and walking into a building.

"Oh..." Wiggum said. "Hey, you two, look at this!"

"Okay, you're fit," Lisa said, ticking it off on a checklist. "But how fast are you?"

"Where'd you get the checklist?" Bart asked.

"Over there," Lisa said, pointing at a pile of checklists.

"Well, let's just see!" Wiggum said, speeding off into the distance with a fire travelling behind him.

"Is that a good sign?" Bart asked as the fire spread to a homeless shelter, an orphanage and a baby animal pet shop.

Wiggum was running extremely fast.

"Wow, this is amazing!" Wiggum said.

He ran past Sonic, who looked at him confused. He then ran past Superman, who looked even more confused. He looked at how fast he was running, but before he could stop moving, he disappeared, after he had travelled 80 miles an hour. He sped past the train that Doc and Marty were on.

"Hi!" Wiggum said, waving at them before disappearing again.

He appeared back in Springfield, stopping right in front of Bart and Lisa.

"How was that?" asked Wiggum.

"Not fast enough!" Bart laughed, running past in a Flash costume.

An alarm started sounding as a criminal ran out of a bank.

"Well, here's your first test!" Lisa said.

"Easy peasy!" Wiggum said.

He span circles around him, causing a mini tornado to appear. When the tornado disappeared, the criminal was handcuffed.

"Quick, let's show Lou!" Bart said.

"You'll get your job back in no time!" Lisa said.

They brought the criminal over to the police station.

"Is that..." Lou said, looking out of the window. "Someone other than me capturing a criminal?"

He ran outside and walked up to Wiggum.

"Wow, you caught someone!" Lou said. "Well, I suppose a deal is a deal!"

He gave Wiggum his badge and police uniform back.

"Yeah, Clancy, you're right," Lou said. "Being a chief is boring, have your job back!"

"Woo!" Wiggum shouted. "Hey, thanks for your help, guys!"

"No problem!" Lisa said. "Now, make sure to use your exercise to catch more criminals!"

"Actually, I'm just gonna go back to normal," said Wiggum.

Bart and Lisa looked at each other before glaring at Wiggum. They then shoved him down some stairs.

 **The end.**


End file.
